


The Stranger and the Baron

by secretkeeper



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Doctor Strange (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-02-20 09:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13143465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretkeeper/pseuds/secretkeeper
Summary: A mishap by one of his students sends Karl Mordo into a pocket realm where he meets a stranger.This might change both their lives, even if they don't know it.





	1. Journeys

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my Christmas gift to all.
> 
> While this does take place in part in the comics universe, the universe in question isn't quite the 616 one, but one that has several changes.
> 
> It's my first time writing some of these characters, and I hope I did them justice.
> 
> The story starts out before the events of the film, so Karl and Stephen have not yet met here. It's also why Karl never finds out the name of the stranger.

    As a teacher of many students, Karl Mordo had a variety of responsibilities. The one he considered to be the most important of all was keeping his students safe.

    Magic was not a game. Karl had read far too many accounts since his arrival in Kamar Taj almost twenty years ago about novice spellcasters who experimented with forces beyond their control, which almost always ended with the death of the student or some type of unimaginable danger being unleashed on the world. So while before his arrival he'd never had to be restricted in what he was allowed to study, he learned quickly that things being withheld was often done for one's own good.

    The student he was looking after right now was Samia. She had been with them for almost two years now, and was one of the ones who soaked up as much knowledge as they could get their hands on. Karl liked her a great deal. He still smiled a bit as he recalled her account of the time she'd nearly gotten caught up in a pyramid scheme, until a friend had alerted her to what was really going on. It was nice to learn more about where the various students came from, and how they'd gotten to Kamar Taj. Karl may have been one of the few who chose to stay even after achieving the rank of master, but it didn't mean that he wanted to fully leave the outside world behind. Even the Ancient One encouraged students to return home at times, thinking that such contact made them better able to learn.

    Samia was looking at two different magical texts in the library at this moment. Normally Karl would have just told Wong to keep an eye on her, but the librarian was taking a much-deserved day off. So it was up to Karl to conceal himself as he made sure his student was safe. He could have placed himself out in the open, but that wouldn't help create the level of trust that was so badly needed following the betrayal of the Zealots.

    Later on, he would think that it seemed appropriate that it wasn't the student he was watching who caused trouble. Just as Karl was preparing to leave, confident Samia was safe, he saw another student browsing a book on pocket dimensions. This was an area fraught with danger, because while getting into one was easy enough, getting out was much harder. If it was done correctly, a pocket dimension could be used to advance one's studies much faster than they would go otherwise, since time held still while one was there. They also had uses in getting a space to retreat from a battle that was not going well, but if one wasn't careful you might be trapped there forever. Karl wasn't certain even he could get out of one unless it was carefully planned, and Derek was not nearly advanced enough to even think about trying it. But as his lips began to move, Karl raced over. “Stop! Don't read anymore!”

    It was too late. He could feel the pull of the dimension tugging on him, and he could only manage to get off a quick spell to get Derek and Samia out of the radius that was being created. “Show the Ancient One the book. She'll know what to do.” And with those words, Karl found himself carried away.

 

* * *

 

    When he became aware of his new surroundings, Karl realized it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The overall effect was that of a dark room that nevertheless had a source of light coming from somewhere. There were no signs of any furnishings, and the exact area he had to roam in wasn't clear. He got to his feet, and then came the biggest surprise of all. A man's voice told him “There's no way out, at least as far as I could see. So I guess we're stuck here for a while.”

    He turned around to see a man sitting on whatever it was that constituted a floor here. From the first glance it was clear the man was a powerful sorcerer. His outfit was a study in blue, and he wore a pair of yellow gloves. No magical artifacts of note could be seen, but Karl could feel the power that radiated off the stranger. His face was hollow, looking as if he had lost a fair amount of weight recently. And there was something in his eyes that made Karl feel for him. Something wasn't quite right, even if he couldn't tell what that something might be. “Well, then let me introduce myself. I'm Karl. I ended up here because a student I was watching started to read the wrong book. I got him out of the way and told him to get help, but who knows when that will be?” Trying to be as friendly as possible, he extended his hand and asked “So how did you get here?”

    He didn't reach out and return the gesture. “Karl. I know someone with that name. I was having some tea, and something alerted me to a tear in the multiverse. I though it might be connected to someone I'm trying to find, so I jumped in. Looks like I was wrong. Again.” There was a strong edge of bitterness in the stranger's voice. Karl thought it might be directed at himself. There was also a quality to his voice that seemed familiar, and he moved in closer to see what it might be.

    That may have been a mistake. The man drew away, and didn't seem to want anyone near him. Feeling guilty, he asked “Who were you trying to find?”

    “The son of a woman I know. He's got the ability to shift himself to other universes. Thankfully he's not able to go anywhere but other Earths, so there's less chance of harm. Normally he'll come back after a little bit, and I've been working on showing him how to focus and come back. But this time he's been gone for nearly two weeks. And the worst part is that it's my fault, and his parents have no idea. They've been coming to see me so much, hoping I have the answer. I haven't, not yet. Maybe I never will.” He turned away from Karl.

    “I'm a little confused here. How is this your fault?” If the stranger was telling the truth (and there was no reason to think he wasn't) the child had done this on his own. Perhaps he had just been neglectful in teaching him to return.

    “Because I closed the gate he used to get wherever he is right now. One night, I'd pas – fallen asleep – and when I woke up I noticed there was a gap in the universe. I closed it, but soon found out he was missing. I can't stop worrying about him. He's just turned five. What if he's put himself into danger somehow?”

    The clear distress in the stranger's voice made Karl forgo keeping a distance. One of the traits he'd picked up since leaving home had been an awareness of how to handle people who were not doing well. Going closer solved another piece of the puzzle; namely, why the stranger had paused before saying he'd fallen asleep.

    There was a clear and quite strong smell of alcohol coming from his breath. Karl wasn't really much of a drinker himself, and it was advised against in Kamar Taj because of the dangers of trying to work magic while under the influence. Picking his words carefully, he asked “Were you drinking that night?”

    The words sent an electric charge through the air. The stranger stiffened. If it hadn't been for the fact there really was no place to go, he would have fled the scene. After a while, he said “Why do you want to know that?” The odd quality in his voice now was clearly a slight slurring of the words. Karl had to think that the stranger must have had a lot of experience concealing his drinking, or his level of intoxication would have been apparent earlier.

    “Because it might explain why you think it's your fault. You were drinking, and couldn't remember what you'd done. So when you noticed the gap, you thought that you opened it and just didn't remember it.” He did wonder how serious the problem had to be if the first thought you went to upon seeing a gateway open was that you did it while you were drunk. Karl had had students who had drinking problems in the past, but in most of those cases they had been sober for some length of time. The stranger quite clearly was not.

    Any reaction from violence to just silence seem equally likely, but what occurred was a simple statement. “I'd been having my tea last thing I could remember then. Earlier than normal, but I'd been busy and just gotten back. I don't normally do too much magically after that, but there's been times when I've woken up and something clearly happened. What would you have thought?”

    “The same, under those circumstances. But that doesn't make it your fault. You were acting to stop a potential threat. What might have happened if you'd done nothing?”

    “A little boy would be home with his family. And maybe we both wouldn't be here.” The stranger looked at Karl once more. “You know, there was a time when having my tea meant just that. Then I started to put a little something in it, and now...”

    Karl was of two minds about the way their conversation was going. Part of him wanted to probe deeper into the words the stranger was saying. He seemed to be trying to reach out for help, but couldn't make himself say it. But there was also a chance that pushing the issue further would end badly. He may not have been close to the other man, but if they were going to be here for a while it might be best to try to get along. Deciding that changing the subject was best, he asked “Is anyone going to come looking for you?”

    “Maybe. Someone I live with might notice I've left without telling him. It wouldn't be the first time, so who knows how long it might be. What about you?”

    “My students were going to get help last I saw them. Even with that I have no idea how long it might be before anyone can do anything.” He wished he could say something more optimistic.

    “Then I guess we just have to wait.” And they sat together in silence.

 

* * *

 

    For some time, there were no words exchanged. Karl got up and moved around, but the stranger remain seated. Overall there seemed to be very little effect displayed by him, save for a seeming weariness. Karl wondered if this was a result of the alcohol or just an overwhelming amount of work being left undone. He still did not know the name of the man he was trapped with, and something inside him kept him from asking.

    The stranger was the first one to break the silence. “I keep thinking about everything that's building up with me being gone. There's never enough time to do anything anymore. My friend keeps telling me to get more sleep, but every time I try to shut my eyes I start thinking about what might be going wrong. The woman I mentioned earlier, the one who's son is missing, she's talked a bit about getting as many different magic users together from time to time to deal with the issues that come up. But I've always been alone. Letting people help feels like I've failed. Like after one of the more powerful spellcaster's I know of died – was it really almost six years ago now? Time goes by so fast. Anyway, I had about three different things I was working on, and was stupid enough to not go through her property and get rid of anything dangerous. So a very dangerous artifact wound up in the hands of a person who had no business using it, and the whole world was nearly destroyed. And after all that, guess what my first response was when the danger had finally ended?”    

    Karl ended up saying “Have you tried getting some kind of help? Going to meetings or something like that?”

    “I did once. Saw someone I know there. Couldn't take it, and resorted to my usual method of dealing with stress.”

    “Which would be?”

    “Going out to a bar and going home with the first person who strikes my fancy at the time. They're not always the same way the next day, but that's what a few drinks will do for you.” He stopped and looked away. “I hate doing it, but sometimes I just need someone close. Used to be married, but I ruined that. Only other person I've had any feelings for since doesn't want to be with me anymore. You know, there was a time when I dreamed about having them both. Now even that dream doesn't work. Sooner than later I'll need to...” The stranger ended his sentence, seeming surprised at how much he had shared.

    It was odd, how things worked out. Karl couldn't imagine sharing so much personal information with someone he had met only a short time ago. But that might have been what made the stranger able to share so much with him. They didn't know each other, and most likely lived in different worlds. Nothing that was said would impact their lives in any way. “The person you had feelings for, is that your friend you mentioned earlier?”

    In a quiet voice, he responded “Does it matter?”

    “I guess not. I'm sorry. I think the isolation is making me on edge. You mentioned things you had to do earlier. Can I ask you about what they are?”

    “What aren't they? Protecting the entire world for more threats than they could possibly imagine. No time off, no rest, nothing. It's all on my shoulders.” Karl was reminded a bit of the Ancient One. He knew that all she had to do to protect the world was a mammoth task, but there were still brief periods of time in which she could rest and let the other masters take care of business. Either the stranger had no one who even approached his level of power or he could not ask for help.

    He wanted to do something to lighten up the morose atmosphere that permeated the pocket. But Karl didn't know what he could say that wouldn't seem as if he was making light of the stranger's problems. Everything was adding up now, from the drawn facial expression to the overall level of weariness. His companion in this was clearly depressed. Worst of all, there didn't seem to be any way to help with the problem. Karl knew of only one person who had experience with both magic and mental health, Daniel's brother Jericho. There may have been no such person in the stranger's world. A sudden thought came over him. “This may seem ridiculous, but I just realized I'm hungry. So now I get to sit around until someone gets us out of here listening to my stomach growl.”

    For the first time the stranger gave him a smile. “I wish I could take you over to my place. My friend is one of the best cooks I know. I'll still never forget when we first met, and he gave me some rice. Felt like the best food I'd ever had, even if it ended up coming back up later.”

    “Why did it?”

    His face had a are-you-kidding expression written all over it. “Withdrawal. It was the first time in months that I was sober. Not surprisingly, not much was agreeing with me back then.”

    “I guess things weren't working out too well for you then.” It seemed like a reasonable statement to make. Karl still didn't know how much he could say to someone who was talking about their issues with substance abuse but wasn't outright saying they wanted help. What was one supposed to do then?

    “No. I was getting out of a bad time in my life, and went to the one thing I could always count on. People like to think I've changed a lot since then, but...” His face scrunched up, and he gave a hiss of pain.

    Now this was something Karl knew what to do about. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

    “An old injury. It acts up sometimes. I'm used to the pain by now, so don't worry about it.”

    “What happened?”

    A long silence. “I was stupid. That's all you need to know.”

    Well, it might have been asking for too much to expect more than that. So Karl chose to not pursue the matter any more.

 

* * *

 

    “Have you ever just found yourself faced with this overwhelming blackness, and aren't sure if there's anything you can do to avoid it?”

    The stranger once again was the first to speak. By this time, Karl had come to the conclusion that he had been wanting to say much of what he was saying, but either didn't know how to bring it up with someone he knew or didn't want to. “Not to that level, I think. I doubt anyone's gone through life without having some kind of darkness looming. But that kind of blackness, I'm not so sure about.”

    “I've had a couple of times when it's been so bad I couldn't move. Just ended up laying there, feeling like the world was going to crush me. Worst part was that sometimes I can't hear or see anything around me but the blackness. I've gotten myself out each time, but I'm afraid that there will come a day when that doesn't work.” His voice trembled as he shared this.

    At this point Karl knew that the stranger was in serious trouble. He wondered if there was anyone out there who could help him. “Have you told anyone besides me about the blackness?”

    “If I did, then I would lose my position. That's all I have anymore. So no.”

    “Your friend you mentioned earlier, could he help you?”

    “He's already done more than enough for me. I've given him nothing but trouble in exchange for that. I know he feels bad enough about my problems. I hate doing this to him. You know, there was a time I almost said...” He trailed off.

    Karl decided to share something from his own life. It wasn't nearly on the level of the stranger's disclosures, but it was at the very least something personal. “Reminds me of a fight I had with a friend of mine a few months back.”

    “What were you fighting about?”   

    “I want her to come and study magic more in-depth than she's done in the past. I know she's got the ability – her grandmother was extremely good. But she doesn't want to learn more.” The words he had exchanged with Lilia still burned in his ears.

    The stranger moved closer. “If she doesn't want to learn, then don't force her to. A resentful student isn't one who's going to learn well.”

    “I understand that. But she's got a target on her chest by her relationship with me already. I'm afraid if she doesn't prepare herself better, then she'll wind up getting hurt.” As long as the magic that kept his surviving family confined to their home remained intact, there was no danger at all. But Karl knew better than to rely on such things. He could still see his grandfather pouring over texts, searching for a way to release him and his daughter. And if they did become free, then all who knew him would be in danger.

    “There's something to be said for being alone. I've worked with people in the past, but I've never really gotten close to any of them. Maybe it's just a consequence of the job.” By this time the stranger had moved so close to Karl that they were nearly touching. “There was a time when I could count on having people around me at all times. I have to admit, though, a part of me likes it better this way.” As quickly as he'd first gone to their current topic, he changed course. “How do you know this friend of yours?”

    “We met as children. As adults, we still see each other sometimes. Of course, things are different for us now.”

    “Are you involved with her romantically?”

    “No. We both consider the other to be a friend with benefits. What about your friend, the one you mentioned before?” It felt a bit cruel to turn the tables like that, but as of yet the stranger hadn't revealed anything other then his own troubles. Karl wasn't foolish enough to think asking the question would help, but there was something to be said about turning the page.

    “I'd prefer if we didn't discuss that.” And with those words silence reigned once more.

 

* * *

 

    The next thing that broken through the silence was not anything said. It was the stranger moving over and kissing Karl on the lips.

    Karl wasn't certain of what to do in response. He certainly didn't have any problems with his potential partner being another man, but know that the stranger had been drinking prior to their meeting made him not want to push forward. His state of mind also didn't seem to indicate that things would end well. At best, he was deeply troubled. At worst, he was headed for a complete mental breakdown. Karl tended to go by the rule that his sex partners should be people who were less screwed up than he was, and the stranger did not fit the bill.

    His hesitation must have come across quite clearly, because the stranger pulled away and said “I'm sorry about that. Sometimes I just need somebody...”

    Wanting to smooth things over, he said “It's not that I'm not interested, not exactly. But I don't think this is the right time for something like that.” Karl ventured another personal question. “Has it been a while since you've been with someone?”

    “Maybe. Depends on how you define it. I've slept with plenty of people in the last few years. I tell myself if I go out to a bar that I won't go home with anyone, but that normally doesn't work out. Don't know why I bother. Last time the woman I went with told me it would be better if I left my top on after she saw some of my scars. I know they look bad, but who wants to be reminded of that?” The stranger seemed to fold in on himself as he spoke. He waited for a time before saying more. “If you just want to count a time that really meant something, it's been a while. The person that I was having some kind of relationship with said we shouldn't do this anymore.”

    “Why?”

    “I asked for too much. I tried most of the time to make it all about him, and not have him worry about anything. But the last time, I asked him to tie me up, call me names, beat me up a bit. You can guess how he reacted to that.”

    “Are you into that kind of thing?”

    “No, but it was after I messed up really badly. It was more that it was what I deserved. So in the end I made things worse, because I ended drawing in someone I – my friend into my own mess. I almost wish he hadn't stuck around after that.”

    Karl made a quick decision to share some of his own story to ease the stranger's mind somewhat. “When I was younger, the only advice I got about sex was to tell me it was all about what I wanted. Do what makes you feel good, because anyone you're with is going to do the same. I can say that I didn't really end up hurting anyone, but I was definitely not a very considerate lover back then. I like to hope I've improved.” Throwing out all of the garbage he'd learned in the first eighteen years of his life had been the first priority Karl had had upon arriving at Kamar Taj. Most days, he thought of himself as still learning how to discard the old ways of thinking he'd been shown.

    The stranger responded by saying “I think you must have, because you seem like you're a good person. I wondered when I met you if you were anything like the Karl I know, but you couldn't be more different.”

    The unabashed respect in his words made Karl feel a bit inadequate. He'd heard the Ancient One referring to him as being too rigid from time to time, and he knew it was true. Drawing clear boundaries in life was one of the ways he had learned to cope with the world after the revelations he had about his family. It may not have been the best way of dealing with things, but as long as it enabled him to cope with the world Karl kept going on as he had. “I'm not quite as good as you would like. I wonder what would have happened if I'd been stuck with the Karl you know instead of you.”

    The stranger laughed, and the sound was an utter delight to hear. “I think you would have ended up killing each other. Just a hunch.”

    Karl himself laughed. “Come on. Move in a bit closer.” The stranger was soon right next to him, and he wrapped his arms around him. He seemed to soak up the touch, and Karl wondered how long it had been since someone had just held him like this. “It's been a while, hasn't it?”

    “Yeah. Last person to do this was my friend. The people who pick up strangers in bars aren't normally the type to be into cuddle sessions.” He paused, and then added “Is this going to go anywhere further, or are you just feeling lonely?”

    “It's really not about me. I thought you might like this. You seem to be too alone. I hate seeing anyone like that.”

    He leaned into Karl as he said “Your students are lucky to have you. I wish my old teacher was still around sometimes. Not to really do anything I should be doing, but just so I could have someone to talk to like this. There's my friend, but I've already hurt him too much with everything that's happened. He shouldn't have to deal with my pain as well.”

    There was an image of the stranger on the edges of Karl's mind. He had had these flashes about people from time to time for years now, and they normally showed him bits of the future, of what might become of a person. He tried to focus on it, but the image kept slipping away.

    The next words from the stranger were a bombshell. “You know, I have a plan for when things get too bad. I don't need it yet, but I can tell the day's getting closer. You asked me if I'd been drinking the night the portal was closed? It wasn't just the night before. A lot of the time I've got to have a few drinks to get any magic to work at all. Something tells me that one day that won't be enough anymore. So I've got it all planned out. I thought about just giving up during a fight or something, but that would just mean trouble for the whole world. I need to make sure that I know where everything important I have is going, nothing's coming up that needs me, things like that.” For a moment it looked like he wasn't going to go on, but the stranger then said “My friend's the biggest wrench in all this. I'm not sure most days whether enacting the plan would be better for him than just going on like I am now. It all comes down to being selfish, just like always.”

    As the stranger finished talking, Karl could see the image of his future before him as plain as day. He was lying on a bed, eyes open, but not appearing to react to anything around him. There was someone else there (his friend?) who was moving his arms and legs, but this produced no reaction. In fact, if his limbs were not returned to his sides as they had been before, they would stay suspended in the air, regardless of how uncomfortable it must have been. Karl could feel a cold chill run through him as what was meant by having a plan became clear. A part of him wanted to yell and say how selfish he would be if he chose to carry through with the plan, but a larger part remembered the despair he saw in the stranger's eyes. What he was able to say in the end was “You need to talk to someone about that. If you're going to do what I think you are, you're making a terrible mistake. I can't see how the world would be made better by you being gone.”

    “How well do you know me, though? Think about what you've learned in the time we've been together. I've told you about a whole bunch of ways I've failed, how I hurt and pushed away a person I love by being messed-up, and you know I'm a drunk on top of all that. Now tell me, would you really want someone like that in a position of power, especially if the world is at stake here?”

    Karl could at least say now he had an answer to one of his questions: the relationship between the stranger and his friend. It was likely that there was nothing formally between them, but the words used showed what he really felt. Using that as a way to convince the stranger to not carry out his plan probably wouldn't work out, if only because his own feelings seemed to be that anyone he cared about would be better off with him gone. “Given the time I've known you, I can't say that I have an opinion formed really well on who you are. But I can tell you that the fact you're willing to own up to your problems here is a good sign. How do you think your friend would feel if you carry out your plan?” It felt a bit like cheating, not coming out and saying that he was going to try and kill himself. Karl just didn't know if coming out and saying it outright would make things better or worse. There was nothing where they were right now that the stranger could use in implementing his plan, so just saying “You are planning to commit suicide” couldn't make him act, but the chances they would remain here forever were pretty much nil. So the future needed to be considered.

    That was something that hadn't been considered, if the answer given by the stranger was any indication. “Glad, I hope. He'd probably be angry at first, but I wouldn't go and do anything without leaving some kind of message for him. I hate seeing him hurting. Over the last few months he's been trying so hard to get me to eat more, making things I like. But I really can't. And it makes me feel like crap doing it.”

    “But how much does he really know? I don't think that he's going to be upset with you if you say you're having problems and are feeling on edge right now. If a friend of mine came to me and said they were feeling like that I would try and see what I could do to help them out.” Of course, by this time it didn't seem right to describe the stranger as being “on edge.” It was more a matter of “already in mid-air.”

    “It's not going to work that way for me. I won't cause him more trouble.” And once again silence reigned, with the only sound Karl could hear being the breathing of the stranger against his chest.

 

* * *

 

    It had been quite a long time since Karl had held anyone for so long. The stranger made no move to leave his embrace, and truth be told he was glad for this. For a lengthy period of time he had been without any formal relationships, so just lingering with another person was a nice change of affairs. The serenity was disrupted once more by a hiss of pain.

    Pushing forward, Karl asked “Are you sure you're okay? I don't like to see you in pain. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

    The stranger pulled away from Karl. He didn't know whether or not it meant anything, but he began to slowly remove one of his gloves.

    Looking it over, it didn't seem like it was too much of a shock he was in pain. The hand that was now displayed was covered in scars, and there was a rather nasty-looking gash on the back. Not certain if it was the right thing to do, Karl took the stranger's hand in his own. Doing so, he could feel a tremor that never went away, and as he ran his fingers over the scars he realized the cut had been carefully placed over one of them. He suspected he knew what that meant, but chose to say nothing. The stranger confirmed his suspicions before too long, saying “That was from a knife I had. It got me away from the blackness, for the time being at least.”

    “Is there anything you'd like me to do?”

    “Just rub it a bit. That normally does the trick for a while.”

    Karl began to move his fingers in a rhythmic motion. He said as he rubbed the hand “I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to say now. But when we get out of here, please promise me that you'll find somebody who can help you. I can tell that you're hurting, and you don't deserve that. Find someone, tell them about your plan, take some time away from work – anything you need. I'm afraid for you, and it's going to haunt me forever if I leave you feeling like this knowing what might happen.”

    It was exactly the wrong thing to say. The stranger's face went blank, and he pulled his hand away from Karl. His voice sounded flat as he said “I shouldn't have told you anything. I'm so sorry for hurting you. Forgive me. I'm an asshole, and this just proves it. You've probably got enough on your plate without having to deal with my own problems. Don't worry about me. It's better that way.”

    Karl wanted to kick himself. He knew what needed to be said, and he'd hoped he could put it in a way that conveyed the message without seeming too nosy. Of course, he'd neglected to think about one crucial factor: how the stranger saw things. He really didn't think he could say they had any kind of relationship right now, yet he'd hoped to be some kind of voice of reason. Even without any kind of bond, though, the stranger wanted to work to keep him from feeling pain. Karl hated hearing this man who he barely knew call himself an asshole and feel guilty over having shared what must have been so hard to admit to himself as well as someone else. But what _could_ he really do? Even if by some miracle he was able to find a way into the stranger's world and get someone to help him, he would be neglecting what he needed to do for his own world. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of one. But Karl still had to try and right what he had made wrong. “Please listen to me. It was a good thing you talked to me. You shouldn't have to keep holding on to all that. Let someone else in. You deserve better.”

    There was no answer. Karl felt crushed, knowing that he had not been able to fix things. He stayed as close as he could to the stranger, trying to send as many good thoughts as he could to the broken man.

* * *

 

    The very next thing he could hear was the sound of a voice calling his name. “Karl!” It was the Ancient One, and it was a sound he had been hoping to hear for a while now.

    “I can hear you!” he cried back in response. “Did Derek get you?”

    “Yes, we've been working to get you out. There should be an opening very soon.”

    “There is another person with me here, Ancient One. He isn't from our world. Are you able to help them as well?”

    “That shouldn't be too hard.” With those words, Karl saw a small gap by which he could see Kamar Taj. He looked over to see how the stranger was taking the news.

    It didn't look like it was affecting him in any way. After Karl's ill-advised attempt at helping him out, his face had taken on a blank look, as if nothing was really before his eyes. He wonder if this was a result of the blackness the stranger had mentioned before. Kneeling down before him, Karl put his hand on his shoulder and said “Someone is opening a way for us to get out now. You can go home.”

    A few blinks, and the words were carefully spoken. “Well. You'll no longer have to endure my company. I hope nothing went too wrong while I was gone.” It summed up the stranger fairly well: given his state of mind, he should be thinking about getting some rest and clearing his mind, not plunging back into saving the world. But Karl no longer trusted himself to make those statements.

    What he did say was “I enjoyed meeting you. Maybe someday we can meet again. I hope things will be better for you then.” With the image of the stranger's future he'd gotten, that seemed to be too good to be true.

    And as Karl stepped through the gateway that could now fit him, he wished he'd asked the stranger for his name.

* * *

 

    The first sight of his home was a welcome one indeed. Derek was standing by the Ancient One, his hands twisting and turning as he said “I'm so sorry, Master. If I'd known what that book would do I'd never have listened to...”

    Karl cut him off. “We can discuss this later. Right now I'm going to get something to eat.” The smile on the face of his mentor eased some of his tension, and he hoped that by taking care of how hungry he was now feeling he could think of some way to help the stranger.

    He was able to get some food and take it back to his room, but he could sense Derek's footsteps lingering outside of his door. He opted to just say “You might as well come in, Derek.” Karl wasn't really angry with him. It wouldn't be the first time that a student had tried to use power beyond their ability to control, and raging at them normally accomplished nothing. The greater concern was the words that indicated he had been told to look at the book by another. Had one of the Zealots returned to get rid of the Masters?

    Derek entered looking like he was expecting the worst. “Please accept my apology Master Mordo. I thought it would be okay to look at the book, because another one of the Masters told me it was important to read it. I thought it was something else.”

    Karl now was worried. “Derek, which Master are you talking about?”

    “He was older, and I'd never seen him before. I was talking with Liss about you, and when I left he came over to me. He said that he needed help with something, and if I could go and find a particular book and read what was on one of the pages it would help out everyone. So I thought that it couldn't be harmful.”

    None of what Derek was saying made sense. If it had been someone trying to cause trouble, then the odds were that they wouldn't have just tried to imprison Karl. Either they would have made an effort to recruit him, or they would have killed him outright. And besides, none of the Zealots had reached the rank of Master. So who could have spoken with Derek? “Is there anything else about him you could tell me?”

    “He said it might be too late, but he wasn't going to fail any more students. I guess he must have been visiting from outside, since I'd never seen him and neither had Samia when I asked her. Do you think you might know him?”

    Karl didn't think he knew of any Masters who had left during the time he had been here except to be placed in various Sanctums around the world. He thought for a little while before saying “I think I'm going to try and get some pictures of as many Masters as I can. You can look them over, and then tell me if any of them are the person you saw.” Derek having said that the person he had spoken with was a man, so that ruled out a portion of them. “And one more thing, Derek. One of the things you need to learn while you are here is how to deal with your teachers. If one of them asks you to go and read from a book you don't know without giving you a good reason, ask them why they are doing it. Blind trust in people isn't healthy. Trust yourself, and if something seems wrong, then it just might be. Figuring this out might save your life someday.” He could still remember the first lessons he had had in the art of magic, and how even when things seemed so wrong he had not been able to speak out. Karl knew now that the first sign that his grandfather's teachings had been wrong was his own inability to say so. Derek, if he was to become a better student, had to learn this. Whether or not the intentions in getting him to read from the book had been malignant remained unknown, but it was a good time to talk about these kind of issues.

    Derek smiled. “Thank you, Master Mordo. I hope I can help you to solve this puzzle.”

* * *

 

    But after nearly a week, Karl was no closer to an answer than he had been before.

    As he poured over as many former Masters as he could, trying to match the one who had given Derek the fateful instructions, he could not match any of them to the description he'd been given. Most of them were dismissed as being too young, something Karl found hilarious given most weren't all that much older than he was now. By now he was going back to people who had left Kamar Taj before he was even born, and none still were the right one.

    And there was the issue of the stranger. A large part of Karl wanted to hope that when he had left the pocket dimension he had gone to his friend and said how much he needed help. Yet his vision of the future still held clear in his head, and it haunted him. On some level it seemed confusing. He had known the stranger for such a short period of time, and hadn't even bothered to ask his name. But it was the look in his eyes of being utterly crushed by the world that stayed with him the most. Early in his studies, he had taken some time to learn about the Ancient One's predecessors, and a few of them had had the same pain in their eyes. His mentor had told him “The position of Supreme is as much a burden at times as it is a strength. There is always the risk of being weighed over by it.” If the stranger held a similar position, it would appear that he was one of the ones who was crushed. Several of those who had been stricken with such despair had gone on to succeed in their appointed office, so if the stranger was able to get help for both his depression and drinking he could remain as he had been. The question of course was whether or not he would. Everything Karl had seen told him the stranger had written himself off already, and was waiting for a good day to die.

    Why had someone he knew so little of haunt him so much? Perhaps it had to do with how much he could understand that level of despair. Shortly after he'd fled his family's home, Karl had periods of time when his own despair had nearly matched that. He'd never had a plan, but he also never had turned to drink as a way of easing the pain of the world around him. There was a strange kinship between them, and all the light in Karl's soul cried out at seeing it.

    He had been sitting for so long and was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that the sound of someone entering his room didn't register until the sound of the Ancient One's voice saying “I thought you might need some tea.”

    The mention of the word teas was enough to trigger a reaction. All Karl could think of is what the stranger had said about his own version of having tea, and he was blinking back tears. How come he could find no answers? What had been the purpose of meeting the stranger, if there even was one?

    A hand came to rest on his should. “What happened while you were away?”

    “The other person I was with. He was very... troubled.” Going further didn't seem like a good idea at the time. “He told me that he drank far too much, and indicated he wanted to die. I tried to help, but I feel I failed him. I worry about him constantly now. And now I have to wonder if I'm spending too much time thinking about him. Maybe that's why I haven't found whoever it was that told Derek to read that particular book. Is my preoccupation with a complete stranger causing me to neglect what I need to pay attention to here?”

    There was a pointed look on the face of the Ancient One. “Karl, have any of your students said you are not devoting enough time to them?”

    “No, Ancient One, they have not. But the lack of hearing something of that nature doesn't mean that it's not there.”

    “True enough. But you also need to remember that you are not the only instructor the students have. If you are failing them by being inattentive, then perhaps they need to find what they are seeking in another.”

    “Ah, but you know very well how important it is to have someone who is not only a teacher, but also a listening ear. I know for a fact that it was what I needed when I first came.” Their back-and-forth style of discussion was one Karl had learned to love over the years. The very first issue raised between the Ancient One and himself had been involving magical research. Karl had wanted to look into the most powerful magic he could find so that his father's death could be properly avenged. But over time the merits of keeping a cooler head had been imparted upon him. The value of having someone who was always willing to listen and be there for you hadn't been something Karl had thought about at the time or even really cared about, but it hadn't been long before he was looking towards the Ancient One for any advice he needed, in regards to magic or to other areas of his life. Seeing no point to discussing this any longer, he added “I've been going over old books, trying to find the man Derek says told him to read the book, but I'm not having any luck in doing so.”

    She posed a question that made Karl wonder once more about the why of what had happened. “Have you thought that you might be looking in the wrong place?”

    “What place do you think I should be looking?”

    “You are only looking _here_ , at our world. Maybe the answer lies _there_ , in the place the stranger comes from?”

    The idea made a great deal of sense. Derek had said that he was told to help out, and given what he had seen of the stranger he needed help. But why the need for all the subterfuge? And if the whole point in all of this was to help out the stranger, then why had Karl been dragged in instead of his friend? “Then what was I doing there? Why would whoever did this need me?”

    “You are someone who wasn't familiar to him. Your insight might have been helpful in giving this stranger a hand up in facing his problems.”

    “If that was the point, then I failed utterly. When I told him to talk to someone about how much he was hurting, he told me he shouldn't have said anything at all. I could see his future as clear as day, and nothing I said or did changed that.”

    “It could be that even if you couldn't help him, you may be able to use what you learned from the experience to assist another who may be in distress. Don't underestimate yourself, Karl. I have faith that you can move on from this.”

   It seemed so easy hearing this. Move on, use what you learned, and chalk it all up to a learning experience. If only it were so easy to let go of the emotions involved. Karl commented “The stranger reminded me a bit of you, only far more weighed down. I wonder why.”

    She smiled. “One of the reasons I enjoy having students around is because they help to keep the weight of my position off my shoulders to a degree. I suspect he didn't have anything like that. And to put it simply, you take yourself with you when you embark on studying magic. With being alone and I would guess having problems even before all this, the burdens might become too great.”

    “Then why hasn't anyone tried to help him?”

    “Who's to say they haven't? Accepting help is a challenge for most of us. And the higher one rises, the harder it gets.” She turned and finished by saying “Even if you couldn't cure him, you provided a listening ear for a little while. That could make a little bit of difference, just enough to save him.”

    Karl opted to abandon his search for the time being to sit and enjoy some tea. There was just the right level of sweetness, and it was exactly what he needed right now. He still thought of the stranger and his misery, as well as the mysterious man who had set all these events into motion, but for the time being he could put his mind elsewhere.

    He tried his best to think of the friend mentioned, and hoped that he would be able to put the stranger back on solid ground in some way. And Karl also vowed that he would pay closer attention to his students' state of mind, so that he could do his part to prevent such things from happening in the future.

    And if someone else came to him needing that same kind of help, he would be there for them. It was the least he could do.

  
  


 


	2. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes our best plans cannot fix what is broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final part to this fic.
> 
> I would like anyone reading this to know that if you are in a place like comic!Stephen is in this story, please get help. No one deserves to live in that kind of pain.
> 
> It was a 50/50 chance for this story to end on either a slightly more optimistic note or go for the more grim one. I ended up ending it with the sadder outcome as the last bit.
> 
> Although I can reassure you that the end result of everything will not be character death, but things are still going to turn out badly.

    It may seem funny to most, but death can be an eye-opener.

    Some of what would open one's eyes wasn't available to everyone. For most people, the first thing they wanted to do after passing on was to meet up with all the ones they'd lost before, and it could be any length of time before other options became open to them.

    But for Yao, it was easy to look and see all that he had been unable to witness during his long life. He could look into other worlds and see how things could have gone differently with one altered choice, could look on his own actions and see where he might have failed, and most important of all see where it was possible to make a difference now.

    The Earth he had just been to not so long ago served as a reminder of the different ways he had failed two of his students. In the first case, his failure stemmed from the wrong option. When he had first met Karl Mordo, the man had been brimming over with anger towards the truths he had learned about his family and was driven by a desire for revenge. There had been two options in handling the matter: the first was to be a strong presence in the new student's life, using a firm hand to guide him on the right path. The second option was to let Mordo work out his feelings on his own, and let him find the path in his own time.

    He'd chosen the latter, and it was only after things had gone wrong that his error had been made clear. Yao had thought of the matter in terms of the man he was, with hundreds and hundreds of years of experience behind him. Mordo was young and still impulsive, and with his state of mind it was so easy to give into darkness in order to get the power he thought he needed. After all had been said and done, his fall would be seen by most as being a result of the choices he'd made, but nothing was ever that simple. What Mordo had needed was someone he could trust to guide him, even though he would have never been able to admit that to himself. His duty as Supreme had been to guide as many magic users as he could on the best path before them, and Yao could say without a doubt in the matter of Mordo he had failed.

    He had only once expressed such thoughts while he was alive. His student at the time had been appalled at the notion he was capable of doing anything wrong, and repeated again and again that Mordo's failings were his own. But from what he had seen on the Earth he had most recently been spending time on, the outcome was in no way predetermined. In this world, his counterpart had taken the opposite path in dealing with the man, and it was clear that this had caused a better outcome. While there was an intense rigidity to be found in this world's Karl Mordo, there also wasn't the desire for power no matter where it came from. He had far fewer feelings of jealousy compared to the man Yao had known, and in fact showed a great desire to help others learn as he had. And the biggest difference was in how he had been treated when he first arrived at Kamar Taj.

    (One other thing he'd wondered about was whether or not he had achieved the same rank in this world or if something had kept him from the study of magic. As it turned out, that major battle back in the 13th century that he'd barely made it out of in his Earth had led to his death in the other. Well, there was always something, and his successor didn't look to have done badly.)

    Even with the changes he could still see somewhat of a pull to darkness from Mordo, but there was also a much greater chance of him pulling back from it. Only time would tell how his life would take him.

    But it was the second case of failure that had spurred him into action recently. When he'd first met Stephen Strange, it was clear that the man had the potential to be one of the greatest spellcasters he had ever had the privilege to train. Honestly, Yao had been so caught up for a while in the talent he had before him that he'd been blind to some of the problems the man had.

    The first issue was of course the matter of his injury. Once Strange had learned that even magic was not able to fix him, he'd seemed to have a certain degree of peace with the knowledge. In hindsight, it may have just been just another way Strange tended to push down his feelings, especially if they were negative. While this may have worked on a short-term basis (for one needed to have a certain state of mind to get much magic to work) in the long run it led to more problems. Sooner or later what you pushed down would come back to crush you, and that would be an absolute disaster. But he'd ignored the warning signs there, in large part because his student _seemed_ so stable. There had been a few times when some of his pain had shown up, but Yao had paid it no mind, having so many other things to work on. The tendency hadn't been as much of a problem while there were people surrounding Strange, but the more alone he was the worse things became. He could only look back now and shake his head – why hadn't he told his student to forge more bonds with other spellcasters? Having some of the others around might have kept the darkness from looming so large in his life now. There was Wong, of course, but Strange's own feelings towards the man kept him from being able to share as much of himself as he could.

    Love was normally a dual-edged sword for any who studied the mystic arts. At its best, love enabled one to grow stronger and happier in one's studies. But at the worst moments, the loss of love could leave one unable to perform on the level you had been able to do before. Typically if there were no other underlying issues one would regain their power as they dealt with their loss. Strange had loved and lost repeatedly in the past; it had made him into the man he now regretted having been. But the biggest challenge before him now was his own mind. As the small support network he'd once had diminished down to just one other, depression had begun to plague him. Like with so many diseases, it came slowly, and by the time one realized it was there it was so much harder to escape. And his own mentality didn't make things any easier.  _I've been bad, I've done wrong, I was a horrible person. Therefore now I'm just experiencing the consequences of what I once was. Feeling bad makes me better, because I know I'm not so self-absorbed anymore._ So it wasn't until Strange hit the level of not being able to even get out of bed sometimes without help that it dawned on him there might be a problem here.

    And that help was the second way Yao knew he'd failed his protege.

    Like most people who had a problem, Strange had been very good at hiding it. The first warning sign had come after his arrival. His only possession had been a bag containing a few pieces of clothing and one bottle of wine. But it could just have been something he got his hands on, he had been homeless for a while and might have needed a little bit of support – it was so easy to excuse things. Several others had mentioned that he had problems keeping his food down, but once again it had been a while since he'd had real meals, so Yao brushed it aside as well.

    What had ended up leading to a confrontation had come from the first time Strange had ventured out since his arrival. No one normally had an issue with students buying what they chose, but all purchases needed to be looked over by someone who ranked above them. He couldn't remember who had been the one looking over Strange's bag, but they had been so alarmed that they'd gone to Yao right away. All he had gotten was three different kinds of alcohol. More importantly, there was no sign he saw this as a big deal. When asked, he'd just said he liked to have something at night.

    So the two of them had met later on. Strange had clearly been honored to be there, and it made it easy for Yao to ask his first question. “Would you mind if I asked you to join me for a glass of wine?”

    A part of him clearly wasn't certain what to make of the question. “I would be honored to do so.”

    Strange made a move to serve himself, but was stopped by Yao's hand and his words. “Let me ask you something else. Would you be able to stop with one glass?”

    There was silence. The answer to that question was pretty clear with the look on his face, but it was important to get a verbal confirmation. He was able to say after some time “I think you may know the answer to that.”

    “It is not about what I may or may not know. The important part is what you think.”

    And then there was a moment of hope. “No, I wouldn't.”

    It had been the beginning of what would be the longest stretch of sobriety in his life, as far as Yao could tell. On the surface this would appear to be a good thing, and he had thought that for some time. Yet the biggest challenge had been not in just making sure that Strange stopped, but that he wanted to stop. At no time did he come out and admit he was an alcoholic, or that he needed help. A great deal of the trouble here came from the fact he felt that his drinking was something to be ashamed of. It didn't matter if one tried to talk to him, to tell him that it was no more in his control than if he needed glasses. For him, it was a moral failing that he hadn't been able to overcome.

    With that in his head, why hadn't Yao told the man he needed to get help if he wanted to continue with his studies? That was a fairly easy question to answer – his potential had been so great that the chances of losing him with such an ultimatum could not be risked. So they had gained a sorcerer, but had neglected the man behind the role. In some ways it was a surprise Strange had held on for so long.

    Just as he had told the other world's Mordo, it had started with just a little dash of something when he took his tea, to help with the nerves and stress. And slowly, it grew and grew. Any addiction is never truly cured, only managed. By taking that first drink, Strange had doomed himself to falling deeper and deeper into that trap. Two factors had made it easy for him to hide the extent of the problem: the fact that there was only one other person in his life and that his work made it possible to drink on the job without any consequences. And up until the last three years things had gone as well as they could: while he did get drunk multiple times a week Yao also knew that he handled his duties as Supreme without even the slightest hint of neglect.

    The change had come with the onset of his long-smoldering depression. The major watchword for magic was “confidence.” You needed to be in a certain state of mind to get everything working properly. If one's state of mind kept them from doing such, then you either needed to step back or try and get your mind to where it needed to be.

    So when things had stopped working, it sadly made sense that his pupil would go and look for one of the things that always made him feel good. After discovering that having a drink or two made his magic work almost all of the time, it became a vicious cycle whenever his mind kept him from doing his job. But it was only a small bandage over a giant wound. Eventually, Strange would sober up and feel even worse than he had before. This in turn led to his magic working less and less, which led him to drink even more, and repeat ad infinitum.

    But the worst part was how that wasn't even enough anymore. It was becoming nearly impossible for him to work complex magic unless he was so drunk he barely knew what he was doing. With that came more failures, more self-loathing, and more reasons to reach for a bottle at the end of it all. And what would happen if even that wasn't enough one day?

    Yao essentially didn't need to ask himself that. He'd seen how much more reckless his former student was becoming, how much less he was eating, and how his overall level of concern for his well-being had sunk. But what had spurred him into some manner of action had been one night in Strange's study. He'd been going over all manner of magical artifacts, talking to himself about who might be able to take them. It had been the words that were said afterwards that were the most frightening. “Not yet. As long as I can still do something, I need to stay here. When the usual doesn't work...” He trailed off, but the meaning in the words was terrifying. The day that using alcohol to get through any problems was no longer a solution, then Strange planned to die. 

    Unfortunately it wasn't the first time his mind had taken him down that path. But before there had never been an actual plan in place. Now Strange had mapped out what to do with his possessions, chosen a method, and was looking for the best time to act. He may not have specifically chosen to act, but all the pieces were in place. And with no changes in his mood over the last few months, it was like watching a ticking bomb and waiting for it to go off.

    Besides Yao, it wasn't fair to say that nobody had noticed any kind of changes. Over the last year or so Wong had clearly realized how much Strange had deteriorated, but he hadn't known how to address the issue. He'd done his best to make certain his master was eating, to try and provide emotional support, and to pick him up at his lowest points, but none of that was enough. Most people really didn't know how to address such a downward spiral without getting upset, but in this case there was the addition challenge of finding someone who could help. The few doctors who made it their mission to look out for the health of the superhuman community virtually never dealt with magic users, and what someone like Strange might end up telling them would be too much to handle. The sole candidate he could think of was Drumm, but he was both busy with his own work and his license to practice had expired years ago. This wouldn't prevent him from acting in an informal role, but odds were fairly good that Strange would need some manner of medication to get out of this hole. So having someone who couldn't do so made everything even harder than it had to be. 

    Even now he could hear the words of people who most likely didn't understand.  _So some sort of pills are what's needed? Doesn't the man already have enough of a problem with using substances to change his mood?_ He would have thought that from the time of his death until now society would have learned a great deal more about why one's mind became sick and how to treat it. But even with all the advances in the world so many people still saw mental illness and addiction as being issues of character – and a part of Yao suspected Strange was among them, at least in regards to himself.

    And it wasn't like Strange hadn't tried on at least one occasion that he knew of to get help for his drinking. (Watching the world you left was discouraged, because people had a difficult time seeing how their loved ones were dealing with their absence or observing the world change in ways one might not have liked, so he had less to work with than he would have liked. For spellcasters, everything was even more strict because you could return to the world of your birth in a manner, so if you spent too much time going back one would find themselves not going anywhere.) There had been the one time he'd taken himself to an AA meeting, putting out a tentative reach for help, but the sight of Carol Danvers at said meeting caused him to flee the scene. The idea that she would have judged him for being there was absurd, but Strange's own mind could only see his problem as being something to mock. So he'd gone back to the methods of coping that had served him well for so long.

    While at this point virtually anything could have served as a catalyst to push his mind over the edge, Yao could see why the disappearance of Tommy had been so harmful to his student. Both him and his brother had been getting very basic lessons from Strange in how to handle their powers, and in the process both had seen him drinking. With their ages, neither one really understood why sometimes their Uncle Stephen got silly or sad after he had his tea at night, so it didn't lead to any real changes. Their mother, who was possibly one of the best-connected heroes around, was also one of the closest to him but even then they lacked the type of relationship she had with the Avengers, for instance. He had been surprised when shortly after their son had gone missing her husband had gone to see Strange and had remarked on how tired and thin he was looking now. It showed the value of having an outsider look at the situation, because the changes had been so slow over time that one might not have realized they were happening without an interval between. 

    If only he had been able to directly act and help! The only course of action that had been proposed by the Avengers when they started to understand how much help his student needed was to try and find someone who could take his position as Supreme instead. Yao at least knew that the best candidate, Drumm, wouldn't step in unless it was absolutely necessary to take over due to Strange being completely incapacitated. A prospect that was growing more and more likely each day.

    It had been while he was looking into another Earth, in part hoping to see if the child had gone there, that a possible solution to the challenges before them came out in the open. 

    Of all things, it had been that world's Mordo that made Yao start to plan how he might be able to help without directly stepping into Strange's life. He had seen the other man talking to one of his own pupils about how stressed they had seemed lately. “Why don't you just take a step back for a while. You know that magic works best when you have a healthy mind. Go back home for a little while, spend more time on something you like. Trust me, you'll feel better for doing so.”

    While the student's problems weren't on the level that Strange's were, the advice had shown he had the right mindset to help others in distress. So Yao had begun to plan to bring the two of them together in some way.

    The pocket dimension was by far the best way of doing so. If he'd gone and just created a gap between the two worlds then someone would have gone and closed it, likely before any movement between the worlds could occur. And it wouldn't work just trying to get either one through the gateway before it was closed: the other Mordo would have questioned why he was being asked to do so, and he could not go and directly take action with Strange due to the restrictions placed on one's own world. So he needed to get a pocket dimension open and snare both men inside.

    Yao was grateful that Derek had suffered no real consequences from having triggered the creation of said pocket. The man was young and still learning, and he'd been a good choice to speak with due to his lack of knowledge about all of Kamar Taj's Masters and lack of understanding of the mechanics of pocket dimensions. This made it easy to get him to read from the fateful book. If Derek had been in trouble because of what he'd done, he would have had to make himself known to try and explain to either his counterpart in this world or Mordo why it had been necessary to act in such a way.

    But he knew that if he didn't do something, Strange would be able to carry out his plan. The biggest warning sign had come when even nearly an entire bottle of wine had barely been enough to get a spell going. Soon, nothing would work because the misery in his head had gone so far along. And when that happened, there would be no reason for him to go on.

    Getting both men where they needed to be wasn't as much of a challenge as one might have thought. The portal was first opened in Mordo's world, and from what Yao knew of him he would be one of the first to jump in if it meant sparing one of his students. (Another difference between this man and the Mordo he knew, and yet another way to wonder how different things might have been.) The other important part had been inserting the proper parts to the text so that there would be openings in both worlds. It had been a bit of a surprise that the opening had first come in Strange's world, but from everything he knew an occurrence such as this would cause him to jump right in and investigate. He'd still had a few drinks prior to going in, but wasn't completely incapacitated. So the pieces were put into place.

    And how had things turned out? Not as well as one would have liked to see, but there were a few hopeful signs. Strange had been able to seriously talk about the problems he had been having, and was able to tell Mordo there were times he wanted to die. He'd gone as far as to show where he'd cut his hand in a desperate attempt to feel something that was not blackness and pain. The sheer amount he was able to share with a stranger was enough to give Yao a great deal of hope, until Mordo had gone and told Strange he should talk to someone else. Then everything ground to a halt. It had been so long he had dealt with his own misery without sharing it with another soul, so that when the response was understanding it must have felt so hard to accept. If Mordo had just told him that he needed to get over himself and do what he could, that he was being selfish for feeling this way, then the answer would have been easier to take. One of the many ways the illness distorted one's mind.

    Yet leaving Strange as he was without the side-trip would have only ended badly. By now he was looking into places to fill a prescription, and it would not be for the medicine he so badly needed. His chosen method to end his own life was in some ways sadly predictable. With the state of his hands as well as his own troubles in working magic, slitting his wrists was not an option, nor would using a gun. (The later also had too much of a chance of being done incorrectly.) Jumping in front of a train would make someone else the instrument of his destruction, and throwing oneself from a building ran the risk of hurting another. Strange had too much of a sense of duty to just allow himself to give up in whatever battle he might be in, ruling that one out. An overdose was the only path left open. Yao didn't think that he'd actually been able to get him to put a halt to his plans, but there had at least been a delay. 

    He was now forced to admit a certain level of defeat. If everything had gone according to plan, his student would have gone and spoken with Wong about the level of despair that dominated his life, and how there was no way he could hope to go on. A better plan of action could be undertaken after the admission. But instead once he'd returned home, he'd merely sat in his study with rare tears falling from his eyes, only able to say “I shouldn't have hurt him.” Had the venture done more harm than good?

    He had to sigh. As much as one wanted to keep those they cared about safe and away from harm, it was never possible. In a few days Strange would be trying to cast the spell that would re-open the gateway his friend's son had passed through, and his success or failure in that would foretell what came next. In the event of success, then it would be time to try and find a different way to reach out and help him.

    And if failure ruled the day, it would be it. That would trigger the plan into action, and he didn't want to know how likely that would be to succeed. 

    There was still some time. Moreso if the spell worked, but even failure gave a brief window of opportunity. Yao hoped that he could try and put some pressure on Wong to give in, call Drumm, and force some manner of treatment on Strange. It was a slim chance – if he did too much he wouldn't be able to act in his world at all – but the effort had to be made.

    Because if he did not work to absolve himself from his past failures, then peace would elude him for all eternity.

* * *

 

    It was two weeks after his trip that Karl found himself giving up on learning whoever had been responsible for it. No matter how many records he poured through, the man Derek recalled seeing was nowhere to be found. There might have been something even farther back in the archives, but looking any more was going to take too much time away from his duties. There was no answer to be found, and there likely never would be.

    To get his mind away from the dilemma as well as the lingering concern for the stranger, he'd left Kamar Taj for the day and was exploring the streets of Kathmandu. He had to admit to himself that this day off was something he wished he could have more often. Instructing students was a task he enjoyed very much, and he took a great deal of pride in working on defending the place he called home. But just as he'd told Riffat not so long ago, one needed to be mindful of one's state of mind. To stay sane, taking a step back was necessary.

    Karl couldn't help but bring his thoughts back to the stranger. He'd said while they were together that his position was all he had left, so it wasn't too hard to guess that he wasn't taking any breaks. Judging by the way he'd spoken about himself during their short time together, it most likely wouldn't make a real difference even if he took a few years away from work. Maybe if those years were spent on improving his overall mental health the break would be a good thing, but Karl doubted that would happen. The likely outcome would be the stranger enacting his plan.

    While one aspect of the situation became clear only some time after the incident, now Karl thought about it more and more. In order to get magic to work, one needed a certain level of – well, happiness wasn't really the right word. It was more like  _serenity._ Whatever one wanted to call it, depression was the fastest way to lose it. If it grew too big, then not even the most basic spells would work for the caster. One could use various temporary fixes in order to get everything to work properly, but the effectiveness of those methods would grow less and less over time. The stranger's chosen method was clearly alcohol, and Karl hoped he still had something left in him. Anything to keep him going for a while longer.

    His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a man asking someone about Kamar Taj. Karl couldn't help but smirk – the only way to get in was if you knew exactly how to do so or if someone already there brought you in. He trailed after the man for a period of time, but soon decided he wasn't much of a threat. Part of him was reminded of the stranger, but the new man lacked the aura of utter despair that the stranger possessed. From what Karl was able to tell, he looked like he hadn't been doing very well and was relying on the help of others to get by, due to his ratty physical appearance. But there was a certain something about him. He had not yet been crushed by the world around him.

    He was able to keep a fair distance between himself and the new arrival, and was just about to abandon his surveillance when the man stopped. He had noticed a stay dog wandering around with an injured paw, and went to see what he could do.

    Watching the man do so, Karl started to entertain the idea of seeing whether or not he might be able to bring this man back with him. With everything that had happened with the Zealots, new students weren't being given a high priority, but this man's actions showed a certain promise. And if he were left as he was now, then how long would it be before the wrong person ran into him? If Kaecilius were to meet this man, he would do whatever it took to get a new recruit. That could not be allowed to happen under any circumstance.

    But it was the moment when the man ended up in a fight over his watch that Karl made his choice. He was going to bring him in, not matter what it took. 

    And as he stepped over to reveal himself, his only thoughts were that while he hadn't been able to help the stranger, he  _could_ help this other man. It would serve as redemption, of sorts.

* * *

 

    There were a variety of reasons the people clustered in the pharmacy were there. Some needed to get something to help them with an illness of some sort, others were getting refills for necessary prescriptions, and there were those who needed some manner of short-term assistance.

    The pharmacist guessed she knew why the patient she was just going to call over was here. His prescription wasn't the type you'd normally need for an extended period of time, so he probably fell into the third category. “Mr. Smith? Your prescription is ready?”

    Mr. Smith looked like he really needed his medicine. Anyone who looked at him could guess he'd been having problems sleeping recently, so his doctor might have felt that a little extra help was needed here. He was looking over the information that was given to anyone who was given this medication.  _Nitrazepem, 5mg. Take one tablet before bed if needed for sleep. Do not combine with alcohol. May cause drowsiness. Consult with your doctor if you are taking any other medications._

    The smile on the his face was enough to make her day. “Thank you. You have no idea how important this is.”

    And as he left, Stephen Strange felt like a major burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He now had the means; all that waited was finding the right time.

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out a lot more sad than I first thought it might?
> 
> At some point, hopefully soon, we will learn who sent them there and why they did so. (Even if I kind of think people might already know a bit.)


End file.
